It occured to me recently that one of the reasons why I find it hard to exercise and/or ask for gifts that God has for me is because I think I deserve them!! I think I deserve them because we live in a 'Reward Society' were gifts are looked down on. A gift is given unconditionaly. You can not earn a gift yet we are surrounded by societies message that nothing comes free. Even Christmas presents are conditional depending if you've been "naughty or nice" Some people are casigated because they have indulged their child or loved one. Surley they didn't deserve all those gifts! We earn all that has comes to us either by sweat at work or good behaviour with our friends. I say to myself that if I have not been nice to either my wife or children work collegues or friends that I am unlikley to get any gift from them because I don't deserve it. It used to be that even if I missed church or slept in and didn't read my bible that I would predict a bad day or a difficult day cos God's favour (potential gifts ) would not be on me.
So now the gifts I do have, I some times think that God has given them to me cos I have been a 'good boy' or I have worked for them. It's no wonder then that when I use my gifts and it 'appears' to go well, I am fighting thoughts of pride or feeling of puffed up and superior. "Yeah God was with me cos I deserve it!!" Oh no!! or it didn't 'appear' to go well so I start searching my soul to see where I went wrong. Who am I not in fellowship with? What have I done wrong? Oh no again!
I am begining to realise that God has given me a gift totally undeserved and I am to use it at any opportunity that He asks me to. I offer my gift, worship, tongues words of knowledge,prophecy and if others don't like it then I refer them to the One who gave it to me. I need to respect others gifts and allow them to use them and not judge them on the 'how much do they deserve it' scale.
One of the latest gift ideas is Random Acts of kindnesss, or ARK if you've seen Evan Almighty!! Totally undeserved 'gifts' (I think it used to be called charity!!) sometimes given anonymously, is a classic case of how gifts should be used. The challenge has been for those on the receiving end because ............. they want to know what they've done to deserve it! !
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2 comments:
isn't it sad that due to our sin we cannot even accept gifts from other people, let alone GOD? even the simple, small compliment that we shrug off - sometimes i catch myself on and realise that actually those words are very true - i am lovely, beautfiul, kind...whatever the case may be...that's someone catching a glimpse of the person GOD has created me TO BE. gives us a chance to realise that the rewards/gifts aren't things we should be refusing, but accepting just as our salvation, with thanksgiving?
yeah the attitude of grattitude has alot going for it.I can be complacent thanks for the reminder Eilis
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