It's all about ME!!!

It's all about Him. It's all about the One who was there at creation and the One who died and rose again. it's all about the One who heals us of our dis - ease.
So often, recently, I feel at dis-ease. With my self ,with family ,with church(that comes too easily!) ............and the last person I turn to for healing is the One that it's all about. I surprise myself at how I can get so caught up in worship, so caught up in loving Him and expressing it but then I take my eyes off Him and begin to focus on my dis-ease. "Take it to the cross" they say............ what? I wish I knew what that really meant!! I suppose they're trying to tell me to give my dis-ease to the One who died for all my dis-eases and that means..................? Jesus died that I might not have any dis-ease? I know my life will continue to have dis-ease. May be its about bringing one dis-ease at a time? Maybe its about separating my sinful attitude and God's burden for his people? Maybe things are not as black and white as I want them to be.
I keep coming back to the relationship thing. None of my relationships run smoothly. All of them need me to do my part. But then I realise just who I am trying to have a relationship with. I heard God call me to share something in church on Sunday but I wouldn't go up to the mike Why? cos I was afraid of making a fool of myself. I didn't have it all clear in my head. (Sometimes I am that elder brother who won't celebrate with the Father because it's not done my way) Who am I most afraid of man or God? What's bigger my pride or God's call? I don't fear God enough! I do forget who I am having a relationship with. It's all about Him the creator. Thankfully, so thankfully, He is a gracious God who is willing to listen to my dis-ease and wait for me to call on Him. Like many of us I get impatient with my self and want to change now!! It takes a life time (though 1 day is a thousand years etc) but always ,always its all about Him